Sunday, November 13, 2011

Define Yourself

Last night I went out with my friends.
On our way, one of my friend played a song using her phone. I just sat in the car, and listen.

Suddenly something came into my mind. "I don't have this type of song that she's playing in her playlist. Not even one". I wonder why. Maybe we have very different interest on music. Well, that's fine.

But this one idea just struck my brain. If we were asked to define ourself, how should we do it? Is it enough to describe your very own self using your own words? Describing yourself based on your interpretation may sometimes be misleading. That's what i think.

So, i thought in order to find about what type of person we are, we should do some investigations on ourself. Now we get back to the music thing. Maybe what we listen will reflect in some way, of who we are as a person.

So, I just do some random search in my head.
What songs do I have in my playlist?
When I'm on Youtube, what kind of channel do I subscribe to?
Movies. What genre of movie mostly I've downloaded?
What type of article, or blog, or webpage do I like to read on the internet?
And what kind of books do I choose to buy?(and hardly read them)

So, I can create a 'profile' of myself.

My not so brilliant head tells me that, all those fact could be some sort of indicator for me, to show what type of person I am. Yes, all of them are kinda intra-personal. Because those things, are things that I chose to do without the presence of others. It is between me, and myself. The place where I can be my true self.
I don't include my social life in my consideration. Also, facebook and twitter is out of the list. This is because, I realised that on presence of others, i may portray myself according to people's expectation. Not of who I really am.

So, when I start comparing 'my profile' and one of my ' friend profile', I think I'm able to tell what type of SOUL do I own.


p/s: too lazy to conclude

He's dumb.

To that one person.
Who is always called dumb by his friends...

If I have the opportunity to meet you,
I would love to tell you something.

No, you are not stupid.
You just don't know.
For example, i don't know how to play guitar.
People cannot say i'm stupid right?
I just don't know how to.
So are you.

You keep spilling things.
It's not because you're stupid.
You are just careless and clumsy.

You keep forgetting and losing things.
Not because you are stupid.
You are just being forgetful.

You do weird things.
Not because you are stupid.
You are just trying to be funny. and cute.

Or maybe you have some sort of undiagnosed disorder.

But i know you know that you got talent, DJ :)

#never meant to be understood

Monday, November 7, 2011

self diagnosed

something is bothering me lately. actually, this thing has been bothering me for years. it's just i never talk about it with anybody. never.

not an emotional problem though. <---i'm not really sure why i put the word 'though' here.

every night, when i'm about to fall asleep, i can feel that i've stop breathing.
usually i'll woke up in shock, and my lungs automatically take a very deep breath. a really deep one. after that i go back straight to sleep. like nothing has happened.
no, it's not a nightmare or else. i just knew it.
it sometimes happen even when i have fallen asleep for a few hours. hmm. it's scary because it gives me the feeling that i'm about to die.

there is one time, i was in the light sleep phase. ( not in the deep sleep nor awake). at that time, i knew i've stopped breathing. i don't know how to say it but unconsciously, my mind is waiting for that one moment to come. which is the moment that i will usually wake up and gasping for air. i wait..and wait...and wait.. and then, ''aaaaahh~~!'' yes! i'm breathing again!
it feel soo long waiting for that moment. uurgghh. scary.

i wonder what is this. so, as most of us do, i go and GooOOogle it.
i found out that it is a symptom of sleep apnoea. i remember studying about this sleep disorder in my psychology class lass year. it is a disorder which the breathing pauses while you sleep, and when the breathing is about to start again, a choking sound is produced. i don't do that.. i think so .0.o . i remember waking up in the middle of the night(or day), taking a very deep yet silent breath. and that's it.

after reading a few web pages, i realised it usually happen to overweight person. just like me. haha.
and that situation can cause me to snore. but, so far not so much report i get from my roommate for snoring. i snore occasionally, maybe when i am too tired or something like that. ;p

SO, i should write a conclusion here, right?

As a conclusion,

1) i am allowed to sleep whenever i want, wherever i want. (lecture theatre etc) because my sleep is always disrupted, night and day.

2) i need to lose weight.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I assume this is a song

Berry lost his leg to diabetes
His dog Pucci go for holiday
Shaking his hand i'm sure a sin
But Phil insists, what should we say?

I am 'me' my friend is 'she'
We go for a jog everyday

Are you sure? From what I see
You just walk and smile all the way..

la la la la la la la

We smile
We laugh
We walk away
The dog always angry
But we don't really care.

la la la la

That one neighbour in Felixstow...
That one neighbour in Felixstow...
That one neighbour in Felixstow...

We smile
We laugh
We walk away
The dog always angry
But we don't really care.
bCause we try to live Australian wayy
bCause we try to live Australian wayy

la la la

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Ape semua ni?!

Ola Oli
Kuberi nama, saudara saudari
Cikeboom! cikeboom!

Malam-malam minggu
Siang-siang hari
Disko! Disko!

Merah-merah melati
Ali Baba
Putih-putih jelita
Miau miauu

Siapa baik hati
Lama-lama jadi..paatung!

Siapakah komposer kepada lagu kanak2 yang sangat hebat ini? Lagu 'Tolong Ingatkan Aku' pon takdapat menandingi tahap keabstrakkannya.

Mengandungi watak2 misteri yang langsung tidak berkaitan antara satu sama lain, lagu ini terus menjadi tanda tanya. Siapakah Ola dan Oli.? Adakah mereka bersaudara? Apakah pula hubungan Ali Baba dan Cinderella? Bagaimana mungkin watak dongeng dari 2 benua yang berbeza boleh disatukan?

Selain turut mempromosikan aktiviti berdisko kepada kanak2, lagu ini membawa mesej yang agak terpesong iaitu.. jika anda menjadi seorang yang baek hati, nescaya anda akan disumpah menjadi patung!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Aren't you just the glass?

1001000 1101001


Nafsu Ammarah Bissu'
Nafsu Lawwamah
Nafsu Mutmainnah

they are exactly the same thing. Freud's structure of mind theory, approved. Now let us investigate where did you get that Psychosexual Development theory.

p/s: malasnya nak ulas semua tu. sila pegi google sendirik.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

air masin yang mengalir di wajahmu

bak kata Coldplay, ''every teardrop is a waterfall''

how about ''every teardrop is a drama?''

i say ''every teardrop, the onion is liable for it''

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sedapnye Nescafe.

When everyone around me saying ''yes''.

I say ''not yet''.


Fikiran pulak bertanya ''bila lagi?''.

Hati berkata ''belum lagi''.


They say you can kill two birds with one stone.

True. Maybe. Sometimes. In very rare cases.

Do both birds really died?

Maybe one of them just slip into comma. Who knows?


Sambil menyelam minum air.

Hilang dahaga. atau mati lemas?


How about pigs?
Most of the time, the red bird failed to kill all the green pigs by himself. So the blue, black, yellow and the fat white bird come into action.
Because not all pigs can be reach by the red angry bird.
Or you can just shake the block. without even touching the one hardcore pig, it sometimes rolls and falls and dies.
Again. Who knows?

sometimes i don't really know what i'm saying. you know what i'm saying?

p/s: hampir 5 minit fikir, nak letak tajuk ape untuk post kali ni. sambil minum nescafe.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Abah bawa Adam memancing.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


A trilogy of : Modest, by Julia Ahmad.

: Why do muslim women have to cover everything except the face and the palm.? Why can't they just wear what they want, but still modest?

Wak Joko
: How do you define modest? (waduh,nervous wak nak kene cakap orang putih ni)

: Look at me, I am wearing my saari. (Abishek bought it for me,btw). i don't expose my chest, or my leg or my back. it's modest and elegant.

Wak Joko
: Yes. i agree. it is modest. for your culture.
ooowwh... malay's baju kurung is also modest. they are not revealing at all..hmm..

: See.. ? you have no option but to agree with me. :p

Wak Joko
: Hmmmm... ..... .... Oh, and for the European, a dress is modest. ...
Haa.. and for the English, a short skirt is modest and sweet.
Wait. the people in United states may consider a spaghetti straps is modest enough for them to go out to the mall. (wak tak paham kenapa makanan boleh dibuatnye pakaian pulak. waduh)
Hmm.. Have you heard of Papua New Guinea.? For some of the indigenous group, their women can just walk around wearing NOTHING but a piece of cloth covering their genital, revealing the breasts. modesty! for them. fuhhh (boleh tergugat iman wak kalu dibawa bercuti ke sana. astaghfirullah..!)

: O.0
It seems that we have different definition for different culture......

Wak Joko
: Yeah. that's why muslim women follow only one guideline, in which the level of modesty is undebatable.

p/s : every character is fictional. ;p

face and mean like this?
(sekadar gambar hiasan)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Untuk dibaca dengan nada sayu dan sendu.

Saya ada sebuah kisah sedih untuk diceritakan. Tapi saya tak sedih. Saya harap orang yang mendengarnya akan berasa sedih.
Lalu, saya pon cuba menceritakan kisah sedih tersebut kepada kawan2 saya, sebelum saya sampaikan di blog ini.

Reaksi mereka sangat tidak diduga.

Mereka mentertawakan saya.

Seorang insan bernama Adila mentertawakan saya, sampai berguling-guling atas lantai. (ye, betul..dia guling. atas karpet.)

Mungkin saya menggunakan intonasi yang salah. Ataupon mimik muka yang kurang tepat.
sepatutnya saya mempraktikkan skil bercerita batu belah batu bertangkup yang saya kuasai semasa darjah 6 dulu.
tetapi saya gagal.

Setelah seketika, mereka pon menghabiskan sisa2 ketawa.
Barulah saya sedar, kisah saya tu, tak sedih langsung.

Jadi, saya mengambil keputusan untuk tidak menceritakannya di sini.

Sekian, salam wawasan dan salam perpaduan ummah.
Hidup rasa sangat simple. Bila kita tahu tiada siapa menunggu kita. Dan kita tak menunggu sesiapa. Kan?
Sudah jimat masa berfikir dan kerut-kerut muka.
Bila tiba masa. Cuma katakan, YA! :D


ape benda pulak aku merepek senja2 ni -..-

Friday, October 7, 2011

Sometimes I can feel the pain. Heavy chest, and hard to breathe. Knowing my friends, heartbroken.

Love, can be so meaningful. At the same time, cruel.

Dear love, wherever you are. Whoever you are.
Don't let me feel the pain for real.

Stick with me. Here till hereafter. Please.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

pembaca yang masih belum matang fikirannya, sangat tidak dialu-alukan

hidup ni memerlukan peningkatan. barulah bermakna kan. sebab tu setiap orang nak jadi lebih baek dan lebih hebat.
tapi ,apakah kayu ukur kehebatan itu? hasil dari pengalaman beta yang terlampau kuat merepek bersama rakan2, kami telah berjaya menetapkan anak2 tangga tahap kehebatan manusia.

tahap 1 : Naek Sheikh
apabila anda tiba2 menjadi sangat bersemangat untuk melakukan sesuatu. yakni semangat yang sangat berkobar-kobar. ribut taufan semua sanggup diredahi. kalau boleh dan2 tu jugak semua benda nak buat. tenaganya meningkat serta merta seperti baru disuntik steroid. mata membulat dan wajah pon bercahaya.

tahap 2 : Tahap Mokhsha
anda kini sudah semakin expert dalam bidang yang anda ceburi. ramai orang yang naek sheikh, tapi akan berhenti separuh jalan. hanya segelintir orang je akan berjaya mencapai ke tahap mokhsha. di tahap ini, ilmu penuh di dada. segala benda boleh diselasaikan sambil tutup sebelah mata.

tahap 3 : Tahap Nirvana
orang yang mencapai tahap nirvana bukan sekadar menguasai satu bidang, malah berbagai bagai bidang. pengetahuannya lebih hebat dari tahap wikipedia. segala benda sangat mudah baginya, pejam mata je. dari seribu orang yang mencapai tahap mokhsha, hanya satu sahaja yang berjaya memperoleh tahap nirvana. kesabaran dan consistency sangat penting. di tahap ini anda perlu cool, jangan terlampau naek sheikh, nanti sakit tulang belakang.

tahap terakhir: Kelahiran Semula
ya, ini tahap yang sangat mustahil. mati hidup semula, lalu menjadi sangat hebat dan mempunyai super power. beta tidak pasti 'mati' yang dimaksudkan itu adalah dicabut nyawanya, atau sekadar tidur mati. kerana masih belum berjaya lagi menjumpai siapa2 yang berjaya menempuh tahap kelahiran semula. sebab setakat ni, semua yang mati tu, masih mati lagi selamanya. ada ura2 yang mengatakan tahap kelahiran semula ini hanya mitos semata-mata. kajian lebih mendalam masih perlu dilakukan.

p/s: tak perlulah dinyatakan lagi. semua orang pon patut tahu ini adalah gurauan bodoh semata-mata.

gurindam lima minit

salam cinta
salam agama
salam kasih dan mesra
salam penyampai khabar berita

diam bukan lupa
diam juga bukan tak suka
diam ubi berisi katanya
dalam diam simpan rahsia

kalau sayang berpada-pada
bila sayang semuanya manis seperti gula
bukti sayang sampai ke syurga
bukan sayang sekadar bermanja

hati ini Allah yang punya
harus dijaga kesuciannya
selalu disuapkan benda yang lagha
dosa pon mungkin nampak macam pahala

darjat tidak pada kerjaya
tapi darjat insan bertaqwa
miskin bukan bermaksud hina
kerana syurga takde tag harga....

Thursday, August 25, 2011

i'm the only one who believes, when others say it's a lie.

tak pernahku tahu

apa yang engkau marahkan.

aku tak faham

apa dendam yang engkau simpan.

mungkin kau sendiri tidak punya jawapan

mungkin dalam diam kau marah dengan ketentuan tuhan

di depan aku kelihatan seperti musuhmu

tapi dibelakang aku pertahankan kau segala yang ku termampu.

aku mahu yang terbaik untuk kau wahai adikku.

tapi tanyalah diri sendiri apa pula yang kau mahu.

semua yang disekelilingmu mengherdik dan menilai

sakit pada kau

sakit juga pada aku

kau yang dihiris

aku yang berdarah

kau yang jatuh

tapi aku juga turut patah

bayangan yang sama selalu bermain di fikiranku

apa yang berlaku 7 tahun lalu

tubuh kurusmu

mengerekot di atas lantai, menangis di sisiku

di samping jenazah ibu

teresak-esak kau keliru apa bakal jadi dengan hidupmu

sedih bagi kau

namun perit bagi aku.

melihat hilang tempat kau mengadu

dan menyedari ada kekurangan besar dalam hidupmu.

dan setiap kali bayangan itu datang

sukar sekali aku hentikan air mataku yang bercucuran.

walaupon berat, kau perlu bertahan

jalankan hidup seperti yang kau inginkan

asalkan jangan kau lepas batasan Tuhan

dengan Abah cubalah kau bertahan

senangkanlah hatinya selagi hayatnya dikandung badan.

larilah sejauh yang kau perlukan

jatuhlah sebanyak mana yang kau mampu tahan

kejarlah impian yang kau idam-idamkan

tapi kau perlu ingat, akan sentiasa ada tempat di sini untuk kau pulang dan berkasih sayang.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Kekasih Sedih

My strings are broken and my heart is out of tune

I wanted quiet but all I see is you
I don’t know anything

I stumbled forward and you let me walk away

We both know I’ll be running back to you someday

I don’t know anything

The earth is spinning but my feet are standing still

And the wind is biting but I’m fighting off the chill
I don’t know anything

So let’s pretend for just one minute
The world, the world, the world, the world
The world is mine

but you’re not there

They say time’s a healer but my watch can’t tell the time

The left hand’s stuck six months ago and I can’t find the right

I don’t know anything

The pen is stronger than any sharpened sword
But everything I write to you makes me feel like a fool

I don’t know anything

I feel like I can do anything
Why don’t you understand

Why don’t you see what I could be

Why can’t you see
I’d trade in the world for you

Thanks to....
* GOOGLE power ! * for the pictures

Thursday, July 21, 2011

''jika denganmu salah
ku tak mahu yang benar''

''jika denganmu rebah
biarlah ku tercalar''

''jika denganmu kabur
ku tak mahu yang jelas''

''jika denganmu hanyut
biarlah aku lemas''


ku sanggup kerna ku mampu
kita berdua bersatu

Monday, July 18, 2011

I'm a big fan.

hah. sudah lama. malas la nak cerita2.
nak cakap sikit je.
i've been listening to Linkin Park since their first album, Hybrid Theory. At that time i was in primary school. i remember playing the pirated CD of Hybrid Theory over and over again with my younger brother. it's pirated because we can't afford the original of and our favourite song back then was One Step Closer. awesome.

it's been more than 10 years now. i still listen to them. they've evolved very well in these past 10 years. their latest album, A Thousand Suns is indescribable. fresh, energetic, beautiful, different, brilliant and carries heavy message about the catastrophe that most of us are not aware of. ok, maybe i exaggerate a little bit with the word catastrophe. but, one thing for sure, it's no longer about frustration and adolescent rebellious feeling or what. it is just awesome. hm.

despite the fact that i've been plugging my ears with their music before going to bed, i also do some background check on them. hehe. no.not really.
just normal stuff a fan usually do. and i found out that they are actually a bunch of funny guys. they do funny stuff. and watch funny videos. on youtube. like this one:

i really LOL to this. yes i did.
i found this on one of the band member's blog.

no. i've no intention on posting any of Linkin Park video here.tata

Monday, June 20, 2011

to tell or not to tell

sometimes it is much easier if we keep something shut.

i choose not to talk about my problems most of the time. i hide my fears. try to cover my worries. and don't tell the grief stories. so, i don't waste my time crying or stressing out. because eventually, all of the hassle will come to an end. nothing last forever, right?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

no, my life is not complicated.

born on 19xx
eat. sleep. cry. play. play. play
go to school.
go to uni.
get a job.
get married .
have children.
get old.

hm. that's all.? i know it's not.

once upon a time, i say his name in my prayer .i ask god, make him mine .make me his

just now i wrote a poem. it sounds like it was written by a 14 year old girl who had just reach puberty.
i'm glad i don't post it here. sorry that you are only able to read this. statement.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tahniah kepada kawan karib yang seorang ni. Sudah bertunang. Dapat dua cincin pulak tu. Satu tu siap ade diamond lagi. Macam tak percaya kan? Kau lagi giler dari aku, tapi kenapa kau dulu. kenapa? kenapa? ok. fine kau lawa.

BTW, tahniah, syukur dan sentiasa kudoakan terbaek untukmu~~~

Sunday, June 5, 2011

kain batik. kakna cakap dia selimut dengan kain batik mak mase tidur. ade suatu malam kakna kata mak datang dalam mimpi dan peluk dia. kain batik mak yang sehelai ni sudah 7 tahun aku bawa ke mana-mana. daripada sekolah asrama di kuala pilah. lepas tu ke sekolah di melaka. kubawa juga semasa belajar di taylors subang jaya. hinggalah sekarang kain batik ni sampai ke australia. 7 tahun aku tunggu. satu malam pon mak tak datang lagi peluk aku.
things are very difficult for me maybe because i take everything into account.
there is no way i can balance it.
it will always be more on one side. less on the other side.
i should learn how to let things happen. i should

Thursday, June 2, 2011

bila saya marah, wajah saya sangat CANTIK

aku marah! marah betul ni.! rase macam berapi-api je dalam dada ni. tak tau la rase berapi tu sebab heartburn pasal makan banyak sangat ke ape. tapi yang penting dada ni rase berapi. jarang2 betul aku nak rase marah2 ni. sebab aku ni kira penyabar dan chill la jugak orangnye. tapi kali ni aku betul marah. eh, berapa kali dah aku cakap aku marah ni?

biaq pi la adik AdindaEvans tu. aku tak mau komen la pasal statement dia tu. aku dah puas komen dalam hati. buat ape tulis kat sini.

yang aku marah ni pasal orang laen. yang kutuk dia satu hal. yang nak menasihat pun satu hal.
yang kutuk dia kaw-kaw tu, aku tak payah cakap banyak la. tu urusan kau, dia dan Allah. aku x mau decide or kate ape2. sebab aku bukan judge. aku bakal lawyer.!

ni yang nak menasihat konon2nye ni. ok, alhamdulillah la, korang nak tegur ke adik ni. ataupon pada masa yang sama korang jugak nak bagi peringatan kepada orang laen. so, sibuk la korang update staus facebook la, buat entri kat blog la apekebenda.

pastu tegur.. '' dik..berubah la...''

''dik...akak paham masalah adik''

yang nak ingatkan orang laen pulak, dok preach. ''janganlah korang menjadi seperti budak ini..! jangan! jangan!'' ok, over skit la ayat tu.

tapi yang aku berapi ni. korang tegur la konon. pastu letak gambar adik ni besar2 dekat wall, dekat blog. malahan, tidak cukup dengan itu sahaja, siap taruk link pegi blog adik tu pulak. ape? ape tujuan korang buat camtu. ape? it won't help.

''yeah...mari kita baca ramai2...!!! inilah budak yang aku nak nasihat tu..''
macam tu? macam tu?!

aib. aib .aib. aibkan adik tu. dan mengaibkan jugak diri sendirik. hipokrit. (ke tak sesuai guna hipokrit?)
seronok eh? sambil nasihat, bole sekali sebarkan cerita panas ni kan?? best kan?? kan??

dah, aku tak nak nasihat korang. pikirlah sendirik.dah besar rasenye masing2 kan,

tapi, seriously aku marah betul ni. kuat betul jari aku tekan keyboard, bole patah agaknye. emo sungguh aku malam ni. tak pernah2 bukanputeriraja marah sebegini rupa. selama ni entri aku simple2 and tak pernah la emo rasenye. malam (pagi) ni aku emo betul.)

huh. cukup.
marah itu api.
api itu syaitan.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

mari menonton filem bersama saya. popcorn awak belanja.

Valley Of The Wolves Palestine 2011

one of the most expensive Turkish films ever made, about a Turkish commando team which goes to Palestine to track down the Israeli military commander responsible for the Gaza flotilla raid.
great movie.
breathtaking actions.
heartbreaking scenes .
and it gives us hope. :)

worth spending time watching it.

p/s: pelakon gagah dan kacak, itu bonus

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

memikirkan masalah dunia

semasa berjalan melepasi rumah salah seorang jiran yang ada membela 5 ekor kucing. kucing2 beliau semua 'cool' bangat. lepak atas motor, depan tingkap..etc.etc.etc.

me : 'bila kita nak singgah rumah uncle tu, maen2 dengan kucing dia?'

dila : ' laen kali la. setakat ni, kita say 'hi' je dulu. bile dah dua tiga kali 'hi'..baru kita mintak nak pegang kucing dia.'

me : 'owh..mcm tu eh..betul jugak. kita buat2 mesra dulu kan..'
' eh, kau pernah terbayang tak, macam mane kalau kucing tak jadi haiwan peliharaan manusia.? semua kuciing duduk dalam hutan. tidur atas pokok. ada warna oren,putih, kelabu,tompok2. ..macam tak sesuai kan? sebab selalunya binatang yang dalam hutan muka dorang serupa, contohnya monyet ngan tupai. dah la kucing manja mengada- ngada...... camane nak carik makan?'

dila : 'ntahnye..dah la kucing aku demand, makan nak mewah2 je'

: 'aku tak boleh bayangkan kucing parsi bulu kembang buat muka ganas, nak tangkap tupai'

the end.

anda2 pernah terfikir ke semua tu?

gambar dicuri dari :

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Bila malam menjelma lagi

Dalam gelap yang sama
Lagi aku sedar.lagi seperti sebelum ini
Udara yang kini dihidu berbau lain
Wanginya tidak sama
Cahaya tidak sesilau seperti yang aku selalu rimaskan dulu
Ramah mesra orang-orangnya..aneh sekali
Tanahnya,tidak terasa melayu.

Malam ini, sunyinya sama..
Tetapi sepinya berlainan sekali

Aku tutup mata,
Lalu aku rasa empuknya tilam lusuhku ini
Dan kenapa pula kipas di siling berbunyi-bunyi mengganggu malamku?
Tiba-tiba batuk abah pula kedengaran.sudah tua dia..
Hm..ada bau maggi,mesti alif pon tak tido lagi. Niat mahu bangun dan sertai dia di dapur.

Aku buka mata.
Aku di australia.
Aku kecewa. Sambil lagu Linkin Park berkumandang di telinga.

Kupejam kembali.
Mengerekot dalam selimut..dan aku lena tanpa mimpi.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

be quick. to be safe!

Hari ni beta tak larat untuk meneruskan perjuangan menghadiri kelas.terlampau mengantuk,kerana beberapa hari yang lepas memang terlalu kekurangan tidur gara-gara menyiapkan assignment pada saat2 akhir. jadi seperti biasa, beta mengambil keputusan untuk memonteng. (pelajar harapan negara?)

Memandangkan diri ini nak buat perkara tidak baek,takkan la nak ajak kawan2 kan. so, beta mengambil keputusan untuk balik sorang2. disebabkan xde geng dalam bas, of course la beta duduk senyap2 je. lalu.......fikiran pon melayang entah ke mana.

tiba-tiba, seorang lelaki 'mat salleh' telah carik pasal.

mat salleh : ''hey you, terrorist! get out from here.''

gila gabra la..ape bak buat ni? da la takde kawan nak back up ke, bagi moral support ke..

lalu beta menjawab... '' don't disturb me, i have a bomb in my bag! you want me to blow that on your face?''

mat salleh : ''haha...there's no way you have a bomb in that little red bag. u think i'm that stupid??''

beta berkata lagi. .'' so, if you know that, why are you calling me terrorist. hah?!''

mat salleh : ''eem... emm..''

dan beta pon menekan loceng lalu turun dari bas dengan penuh confident. padahal dalam hati sangat cuak.

tiba-tiba, effect inertia yang terhasil sebab pemandu bas brek mengejut di lampu isyarat telah menyedarkan beta dari lamunan.

owh, semua tu lamunan je..betul, tak tipu. sebenarnye tak jadi ape2 pon dalam bas tadi kecuali ade sorang abang berwajah melayu yang senyum kat beta dan beta pon membalas senyumannya =)
mungkin pengalaman2 sebelum ni telah menyebabkan beta berasa risau sepanjang masa, dan otak ni sering memikirkan perkara yang bukan2.

Ya Allah.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

i'm happy, as you can see

there are times when i feel i want to cry. for no reason. so, i tried so hard. but the tears won't come out.

there are times when i feel the burden are too heavy for me to carry. then i force myself to be strong. i hold back the tears,knowing that no one will wipe them for me.

there was one time. long ago. my life was perfect. but, suddenly a part of that life was taken away from me. it make me believe that i'm not deserve to be happy.
there was one time. long ago. when i don't have to hold my tears.
there was one time. long ago. when my fear was only of the dark. not of everything around me.
there was one time. long ago. when i went to sleep just because i wanted to dream. not because that i need to run away from the world.

there was one time. long ago.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

let me tell you the story behind the smiling me. ;D

wah. its been a while. last update was last year.

no, i'm not busy. its just i have too many thing to its making me speechless. besides, maybe i'm enjoying all the attention on facebook, so i decided to ignore the blog. for a while. teeeheeeeeee. :D

ok. menyampah. mentang-mentang dah study ostrolia,nak speaking bagai..


sebenarnye beta ade jugak tulis beberapa draft.just x post je ke dalam blog ni. tak tau kenapa. sebb rasa semua yang ditulis tu macam ntah ape2 kot..? hm.mostly mesti la pasal kehidupan kat tempat baru ni. oh, baru teringat.beta tak post sebab beta rase..''ade ke orang minat nak sibuk2 amik tau pasal hidup aku kat sini?'' ade ke? rasenye tak de.

so, takpe la.
ok..sekarang sila lihat wajah minah yang senyum tak berapa ikhlas sambil memegang sanwich Subway perisa seafood.tu. (perisa seafood?!) x kesah la. hm..beli seafood sbb tu je yang halal. huh.kalau kat malaysia dulu memang beta baham je ayam daging semua. perisa?! seafood memang tak pandang langsung la.

eh, sila la tengok gambar ni..dah tengok da?

hm..ok. sebenarnya gambar ni diambil pada malam Jumaat yang lepas. pasti anda2 tahu, kalu dekat2 'oversea' ni, Friday night memang la malam untuk orang2 bergembira. sebagai bukti, lagu Rebecca Black tu kann.
hm..mase ni sebenarnya beta on the way balik ke rumah setelah menghadiri birthday party salah sorang kawan kat sini. Farrel. makan dekat restoran Itali ke ape benda. lepas tu tak kenyang sebab perut besar. so, sebab tu la beli Subway perisa?! seafood.

nak dijadikan cerita, insan yang ambik gambar ni adalah kawan beta yang manis bertudung labuh, Ainina. gambar di'snap' gune handphone je sebab x bawak camera kann.

so, semasa Ainina tengah snap gambar ni, seorang lelaki mabuk meluru ke arah dia..
sambil menjerit,
''Shitt...! Osama is dead..! Fuck you go..!!!''

huh. i will never forget that. it's hard for me to explain what he did. but, what i can say is, his hand moved like he wanted to hit Ainina. On that perticular time, that guy was able to do anything he wanted to. he was so close to us. He can grab and hit Ainina or something like that. Or even take my handphone away. But thanks Allah, he just shouted at her face. nothing more than that.

After that, we ran into a store for protection. That drunk guy just walked away. huuu. the end.

(owh. ter'speaking' pulak tadi)

sebenarnya, itu bukan kali pertama kami berhadapan dengan perkara2 sebigini. sebegini.?

Ade la jugak dua tiga kejadian yang berlaku sebelum2 tu. kami percaya diskriminasi atau kebencian itu timbul sebab kami Muslim, dan kami memakai tudung.
malas la nak cerita banyak2, satgi ade orang yang sedih. jangan risau. kami ok.

hm. Beta yakin, beta dan rakan2 pasti selamat di sini. Allah melindungi. dan doa sebagai senjata. hmmm..dan jugak, jangan la mengada-ngada nak keluar selalu pada malam Jumaat ye cik Maii....